Don't say that!

Things people of faith often say, but make my skin crawl.  Today I will speak of  the worst offender, in my humble opinion, "Everything happens for a reason"  Really?  Like God our Father has predestined everything that happens here at our island home.  It seems if this were the case wouldn't the "good" get good things and the "bad" get bad things?  The truth is, if you live very long, you start to see that wonderful things happen to those that seem least deserving, and horrible, awful things happen to the most wonderful, at times.  I am reminded of the blind man in
John 9:1-3 "As He was passing by, He saw a man blind from birth. His disciples questioned Him: “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind? ”“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” Jesus answered  People are born with disabilities and they are not directly correlated with some divine "reason."  Now I would be remiss if I didn't quote the rest of that story in verse 3-4 “This came about so that God’s works might be displayed in him."  To me I interpret this to mean that God can take any circumstance and use it for a lesson, or a revelation, or to glorify.  I think that is what people are trying to say when they use the dreaded phrase "Everything happens for a reason."  They mean God can make something good out of any situation therefore looking back it seems it was for a reason.  Take my own life, about three years ago I made some very bad personal decisions that led to a lot of pain and when the pain got really bad I did the work on myself to make me into the much healthier person I am today.  One might say "See that happened to you for a reason, God had a plan."  Well maybe, BUT maybe I was stupid, and made some bad decisions and when I got myself in a mess and I cried out to God to help me, he took the utter chaos I had created and showed me a path.  I believe God will gladly take us - with all our brokenness - and help us find our way.  I believe God will take the most vile and despicable circumstances and make good.  I believe that we have the power, the Holy Spirit, the little Buddhas within us to seek the light.  When life gives us lemons we can make lemonade!  Because, in my mind if we have a loving God, and I do believe we that, wouldn't he/she just predestined to us all to be "good" and have good things happen to us?  If he had a reason for everything wouldn't the bad keep getting punished until they learned their lesson.  He/She do not do that - they gave us all free will, and with that free will comes good deeds and bad deeds.  That's what I think.  Why do bad things happen?  At times to the best people in the world?  At the very worst time? Because they do. Because, we all have free will, not just those of use who would try to do our best to be our best at all times - all of us have free will.  So when the young boy is molested or the young girl is kept in a basement of horrors for years, abused, I do not believe that happened for a "reason."  I believe with free will comes great things and horrible things, don't dare tell me God planned that, not my God. 

The Lord is My Shepherd

"The Lord is My Shepherd I shall not want...." Psalm 23

 

 

 

The 23rd Psalm; known by heart by many "...he maketh me to lie down in green pastures...he restoreth my soul" The concept of the shepherd is a common theme throughout the scriptures, something I just accepted without a great deal of thought.  The Lord is my Shepherd, he shephereds the flock, he leads us, just a known without much meaning until now.  Although this story is about another shepherd, my German Shepherd, Xena the Warrior Princess Vom Satter Haus.  This past year my little family moved back to the country, myself and my two boys found ourselves living in a place with lots of room to roam.  So I decided that we would find ourselves a German Shepherd, a dog we had long wanted.  We were fortunate to find a breeder close to home, and after an hour or so in the floor with lots of furry, mostly black, and curious puppies, we found her, our Xena, or at least we found the puppy that would be named after the warrior princess on the way home.  I have trained, and owned and even shown dogs, but I had never owned a German Shepherd.  The thing that stood out to me about this little puppy, almost immediately, was that she had to be with us,  and know where we were at all times; she shepherded the family.  One morning, I decided to let her go along as I dropped the boys off for school, as the oldest got out of the car she looked at me as if to say "You let him leave?  Do you do this every day??"  I laughed as she whined and cried stretching her neck out the window towards my son.  I gently consoled her and petted her letting her know that he would be fine and that he would return back home.  She did not seem to have full faith in me.

One of the things we enjoy most about living here is the long hikes we get to take down the side of the mountain, and of course we take our warrior princess with the family.  The boys and Xena love the adventure of climbing down the steep rocks that cut our path.  The boys being in much better shape than I hurry down the mountainside ahead of me, but Xena waits to make sure I am all right.  She waits and watches as I make my way down, she runs back to me to insure that I am okay, and then back to the boys. She never leaves anyone behind; it's as if it is her job, her mission to keep us all safe. 

Yet the real revelation for me was the day I sent the boys down the street to their great-grandmothers. She again whined and cried at the door, and I assured her that they would come back home. I enticed her with her favorite bone, I showed her to her bed, and she was temporarily distracted, but not for long.  Soon she went back to the door looking fervently for the boys, and she continued this back and forth laboriously looking for her family to come home.

That day revealed to me, that my shepherd is like The Shepherd. I am sure in biblical times when the writers and storytellers were talking about shepherds and sheep that they were hitting the nail on the head for the listeners of the time.  Unfortunately, in 2015 I guess there are those who still shepherd sheep, but it isn't something I encounter in my daily life.  Yet, God chose Xena to show me a Shepherd story. She like our heavenly Shepherd is constantly watching over us, wanting to make sure we are safe, and wanting us to come home.  In that moment as she watched and waited I saw our Lord.  No matter how long we are gone, or what wonderful things he has in front of him, he is still fervently, intently, staring out that storm door of life waiting for us to come home.

 

Thanks be to God.

 

 

 

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:

he leadeth me beside the still waters.  He restoreth my soul:

he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:

thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you...

"You have heard it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. For He causes His sun to rise on the eviland the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Don’t even the tax collectors do the same? "   Matthew 5:42-46

I have been deep in study of the book "Living Buddha, Living Christ" by Thich Nhat Hanh.

A wonderful read that has caused me to look more deeply into my life, my faith and my everyday meditations. Today, as I finished the chapter on 'A Peaceful Heart' this passage spoke to me

"When we try to overcome evil with evil we are not working for peace. If you say "Saddam Hussein is evil. We have to prevent him from continuing to be evil," and if you then use the same means he has been using you are exactly like him." ch.6 pg 52

 

 

 

 

Let that sink in a bit....

 

"You have heard it was said, Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. For He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. For if you love those who love you, what reward will you have? Don’t even the tax collectors do the same? "

He speaks of learning to understand our enemies to see their suffering to see the world from their view. As I sit here and think of the Christians just beheaded by ISIS, the 24 people they burned alive, how can I understand them? The hope is in understanding we will then find love for our neighbor. So easy to love one another when it's the pie baking Christian friend next door. How can we learn to love the worst of the worst? We are commanded just like the good Samaritan to pick up the strays, the dirty, the poor, the ones that believe everything that we do not. Love your neighbor, all of them. This does not mean become a doormat for the wicked, but in our fight we must fight back with love. Our weapon is love, compassion, understanding. Tough stuff.

I cannot understand why someone would do the things that these people are doing, I don't know that I can ever understand that kind of violence against another human being. I am not asking you to either, but I am trying to learn more, to listen more, and on a smaller scale resolve conflict peacefully and with Love. That I think, with God's help, meditation, prayer and most importantly practice, I can do better.

Practice I think is the thing we forget. We must practice our faith daily to be able to better demonstrate our Love, to better forgive, meditate, live peacefully. We know that we must practice music to play an instrument or yoga to stretch, but with faith we go along until the high seas of life and then.... Oh God! Buddha! we think it should be like magic. Fortunately, if we live long enough and see enough in this world we learn that it takes practice. I say fortunately because in learning this we learn to live better, more peaceful, more fulfilling lives. And then when the tsunamis of life come we are better prepared because we have practiced.

I challenge you this week to love your enemies more, not the big horrible ones yet... Let's just start with the one who cuts you off in traffic. Can you refrain from the screams and curses and foul hand gestures? Can you pray for them and see that maybe they are late or afraid or just learning to drive.

I challenge you to start a practice of love when the kids have hit the last button, when you think your head may spin like the girl in the Exorcist. Breathe, and practice Love and understanding.

 

#Loveoneanother

Peace be with you.

 

 

 

Ash Wednesday... What's up with that?

Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

 

 

I find that many celebrate fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras but much fewer participate in Ash Wednesday and the Lent in the following 40 days.  Maybe part of that is that they don't really understand the meaning or reason for Ash Wednesday and  Lent so here is some information. I welcome you to join me tonight at St. Thomas Episcopal Church @6:00 pm if you would like to participate in an Ash Wednesday service.

 

*I gathered this from www.sharefaith.com

 

Ash Wednesday is the first day of the season of Lent. Ash Wednesday is one of the principal holy days for the Western Church. Most commonly observed by Catholics, Anglicans, Episcopalians, and Lutherans, Ash Wednesday falls on the seventh Wednesday before Easter (usually around February 9). Ash Wednesday begins a season of fasting and repentance (commonly known as Lent) in preparation for the Easter celebration.

The Origins of Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday's origins are tied to its history and the time of year during which it occurs. It follows the season of Epiphany, which culminates with Shrove Tuesday, which is also known as Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday). The solemn proceedings that occur on Ash Wednesday bring the focus back to the sacrifice of Christ and the mission of the Church. The observance most likely comes from the biblical Day of Atonement. In Leviticus 16, the Lord establishes an annual day of repentance for the Israelites as a lasting ordinance for all their generations. Since the blood of Jesus represents atonement, the heart of Ash Wednesday is a humbling of oneself through fasting and prayer.

On this day, Christians come before a priest to receive the sign of the cross, marked in ashes on their foreheads. Over the next month, they are encouraged to fast, pray, and seek repentance for their sins. Reflection upon one's life during the previous year receives extra attention, and a greater commitment to God and the Church is offered.

This ceremony originated around the eighth century and extends back to the custom during biblical times of people humbling themselves with sackcloth and ashes. The prophet Daniel speaks of seeking the Lord for the release of his people from Babylonian exile with fasting, sackcloth, and ashes (Daniel 9:3). Jonah 3:6 states: "When the news reached the king of Nineveh, he rose from his throne, took off his royal robes, covered himself with sackcloth and sat down in the dust."

 

 

What happens at an Ash Wednesday service?  *http://catholicism.about.com/od/holydaysandholidays/p/Ash_Wednesday.htm

 

During Mass, the ashes which give Ash Wednesday its name are distributed. The ashes are made by burning the blessed palms that were distributed the previous year on Palm Sunday; many churches ask their parishioners to return any palms that they took home so that they can be burned.

After the priest blesses the ashes and sprinkles them with holy water, the faithful come forward to receive them. The priest dips his right thumb in the ashes and, making the sign of the cross on each person's forehead, says, "Remember, man, that thou art dust, and to dust thou shalt return" (or a variation on those words).

Also:

The distribution of ashes reminds us of our own mortality and calls us to repentance. In the early Church, Ash Wednesday was the day on which those who had sinned, and who wished to be readmitted to the Church, would begin their public penance. The ashes that we receive are a reminder of our own sinfulness, and many Catholics leave them on their foreheads all day as a sign of humility.

I hope this helps my brothers and sisters out there understand more about this holy day.

#LoveOneAnother





A Valentine for my Valentines

I said a valentine prayer for you

and asked the Lord above to bless

your heart and bless your soul

With the precious gift of love.

I asked Him for sincere love
The kind that's meant to stay
Just like the generous love
You give to those you touch each day.

I prayed for love from family
And from every cherished friend
Then I asked the Lord to give you
His love that knows no end.

Happy (belated) Valentines Day!  Some have a negative opinion of this day. I suppose they think it too commercial, just a rouse made up by Hallmark to make big sales.  Maybe they do revel in the chance to make bank off of our feelings, but in my mind any day that reminds us to love and share love is positive!  

First a history lesson, St. Valentine was a priest in Rome, he along with St. Marius helped to assist martyrs who were being persecuted under Claudius II.  Valentine was captured by the emperor and sent to the prefect of Rome, when he refused to renounce his faith, he was beaten with clubs and beheaded on Feb. 14th around 270 (269). There begins the Valentines' Day. Jesus says "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends" John 15:13  What a better Valentine could we hope to find than a man of God that died for his faith?  He is the Patron Saint of affianced couples, bee keepers, engaged couples, epilepsy, fainting, greetings, happy marriages, love, lovers, plague, travellers, and young people.

So in the spirit of St. Valentine fighting, dying for his friends I write you about love this Valentine's.
My message for this blog and my message for life is #loveoneanother.  I truly believe that the more we can adhere to that simple yet at times very difficult command, the world -our world -will be a better place.  Here in Alabama we have begun passing out marriage licenses to same sex couples.  There is a fear by many that this will lead to the breakdown of traditional marriage, that this will open the door for more things outside of human couplings.  There are those that feel this is a  break from what the scriptures teach us is good and holy.  This is the thing, even if this is the "truth" which I do not believe it is, but will allow for the arugment sake.  What will being angry and ugly do for the cause?  Will I as a gay or lesbian come running to you?  Your church?  Will I suddenly repent and go to some retreat to become un-gay?  We know this can lead to  suicide or maybe worse these souls find themselves distraught they seek out other means of comfort like drugs and alcohol which many times leads to death.  Read the Robertson's story.  What if you loved instead?

"But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:6-7

What about the criminal crucified with our Lord.  Did he rebuke him?  Did he go through his sins making sure he was aware of the "Truth"... no he did not.  His belief in the Son of God was enough.

"But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise" Luke 23:40-43

So when will we see that believing is enough, when will we stop looking for the check list that Nicodemus looked for, the pharisees and sadducees had to have??  We all as humans want a list to follow, it's natural.  We want to know what's wrong what's right, who gets enough gold stars to enter the kingdom, who does not?

What if for one second you concentrated on LOVE.  What if  LOVE was enough?  I challenge you to go forth loving your neighbor as unconditionally as you possibly can and leave all the check marks to God.  Be a Valentine all year, stand up for your brothers and sister in Christ.

I hope when I get to heaven, if I should make it there, he/she will say "You just loved too much!" 

#loveoneanother.

Twenty-Five Years of Addiction

In Buddhism an attachment is “A deluded mental factor that observes its contaminated object,
regards it as a cause of happiness, and wishes for it”
 –"Introduction to Buddhism" Geshe Kelsang Gyatso

Yes I am a recovering addict. It is not easy to write about addiction especially when the addiction is not understood.  It certainly wasn’t understood by me for a very long time.  I attempt to write my story because my hope is it may help others.  This starts years ago - way too young.  I was mature and smart for my age thirteen going on thirty.  My addiction started then and lasted well into my thirties.  In fact, I have only been "clean" for the past two years and even those two years have not been without setbacks and multiple falls off the proverbial wagon.  One thrill after another for years, I would easily grow weary of one and push on to the next dealer of choice.  None of them were ever enough.  I would leave one as soon as the thrill dulled and go to the next higher, greater thrill.  I lost family time, money and eventually ended up close to homeless, broke and struggling to put food on the table.  I wrecked my car just trying to find the next fix; I did serious harm to myself esteem, my emotional and physical health. 

What was this addiction that took so much from me and ruled my life for twenty-five years?  Love.  Yes my addiction to love - specifically the love of a man ruled my life for over two decades. Now as I look back it's hard to believe that I spent  twenty-five years of my life  hell bent on finding "the one." Where does my addiction start?  For me, like most of us something was missing from my childhood. I suppose for me it was to be "adored."  From the time I was quite little I thought when I find “the one” I will be adored!  I finally will be that precious object protected, cherished.  I found “the one” off and on for the next twenty years, getting high falling in love, much like I imagine the lighting of the crack pipe.  Soon enough the love didn’t feel right anymore, and I was out on the street looking for the next fix, never took me long to find another dealer.  I was a serial monogamist for twenty years.  Marriages did not work out, I was an expert at moving on, but it was after divorcing my children’s father and hitting the street again, I found the dealer that would end all dealers.  I prayed for someone to come along and adore me and suppose the devil supplied that very thing, or maybe my God knew the lesson I needed.  A man came along that said everything I had waited my whole life to hear he even literally said over and over “I adore you Cameron.”  I gave everything I had emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically.  I could not lose this time! This was what I had waited for all my life!  The only problem was it wasn’t real; he wasn’t what he said - it was all a fantasy and a fantasy that I failed miserably to see the obvious reality.  See that’s what addiction does to you, everyone around you can see you flailing, they can see the obvious answers but you have convinced yourself you are ok! You can handle this! Even though it goes against everything you believe even though you hate the situation you ‘think’ you have it under control.  No one can tell you different,  They don’t understand how much joy you have from this “love.”  Yet your business is failing as you wait for him to make you honest.  You cry until you have massive migraines, you add to the chemicals in your body multiple times in a year to even out the depression that has become too much for you to handle. 

It took me three years of therapy, loss of a career and hitting rock bottom to find the courage to grow.  The journey that I call my desert was excruciating, so many times I wanted to just lay down and die, but I with God's help kept going - sometimes it was three steps forward and two steps back, sometimes it was three steps forward four steps back, but I kept moving forward inch by inch.  The pain and loss seemed to never end.  I would ask “How long does this last??”  The withdrawals, the constant pain, the dreams, the death of the fantasy.   At times it was minute by minute to walk on my own, sometimes day by day some days I didn’t make it.  Some days I just stayed home and cried.  I cried a lot.  I thought a lot about the desert times in the bible, I thought “How did the Israelites manage to wander forty years in the desert before making it to the promise land?!?”   I can tell you it is a long and arduous journey you think it will never end, but oh Lord how beautiful the milk and honey flow when you reach the other side.  I am here to tell you that you can make it!There is light at the end of the tunnel, not only that but it’s more beautiful because of the journey and what you learned along the way.   I am now clean and sober.  I can now say I no longer rely on the love of a man to get my high.  I am high on me.  Funny thing I learned after all those months the thing that I was missing was right here all along.  I could tell you how bad the men were that I met and loved along the way, and some definitely were not saints by any means, but the truth is the problem was always with me.  I allowed them to abuse me - I wasn't in the place to say no to the things that were not in my best interest. 

So if you are struggling with the addiction to love, if you base your happiness on the next man or woman in your life.  If you are in an abusive relationship, if you are the other woman, if you are with someone that hurts you emotionally or you can’t seem to let go.  Take the first step by getting help real therapy.  Reach out to other women, they have probably been there is one way or another.

Today will be hard, tomorrow as well; in fact there may be many days ahead that are tough.  I can tell you the work is so worth the end product.  I am now living a life the young me could not even imagine.  I have found me, I know what I like!  I am reading and studying and meditating on the thousands of things I want to do with my life, and not one of them requires the love of a man.  Don’t get me wrong I am not against marriage or relationships, but I am against being addicted to those relationships having to have a mate to be completed, to be whole, to be happy.   

My faith, my family & my true self is plenty.

Much like this lotus flower I feel that I have come to bloom out of the mud of life and it's a beautiful thing!

“For I am persuaded that not even death or life, angels or rulers, things present or things to come, hostile powers height or depth, or any other created thing will have the power to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord!” Romans 8:38-39

 

 

This blog is not to say I am never down or never tempted or don't have those battles. Like any kind of addict it rears it's ugly head off and on, but I have done the hard work and I usually am able to bring myself back to self love.  Life's a journey and so is spiritual and emotional wellness.  God bless you and keep you as you make your journeys!

Are you addicted to Love?

Mistaking  new romantic excitement for love

Constantly craving and searching for a romantic relationship

When in a relationship, being desperate to please and fearful of the other’s unhappiness

When not in a relationship, feeling desperate and alone

Inability to maintain an intimate relationship once the newness and excitement have worn off

Finding it unbearable or emotionally difficult to be alone

Choosing partners who are emotionally unavailable and/or verbally or physically abusive

Choosing partners who demand a great deal of attention and caretaking but who do not meet your emotional or physical needs

Participating in activities that don’t interest you or go against your personal values in order to keep or please a partner

Giving up important interests, beliefs, or friendships to maximize time in the relationship or to please a romantic partner

Using romantic intensity to tolerate difficult experiences or emotions

Missing out on important family, career, or social experiences to search for a romantic relationship

Finding it difficult or impossible to leave unhealthy or abusive relationships despite repeated promises to oneself or others to do so

Repeatedly returning to previously unmanageable or painful relationships despite promises to oneself or others to not do so

Am I A Racist? Are You?

Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend. -

Martin Luther King Jr.

 Today is the day we honor one of our very best - Martin Luther King Jr. and I wonder how far have we come, how far do we have to go?  Am I a racist?

 

"There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus" Galations 3:28.

 

 Love one another, this is what Jesus has told us to do and I think we "think" we are, but are we?

After Micheal Brown, I found that my facebook feed consisted of white people posting articles in favor of the police officer. Friends of mine that were black posted the stories of the innocent unarmed teenager. This blog isn't about who was "right" who was "wrong,"in that situation, my point for this blog is that there was a divide, a most definite divide.  It seems to me that if we were past the divisions of our ancestors there would have been people on both sides both races.  Then it wouldn't be about a "black" boy a "white" police officer.  I have to tell you my first thought was -- Why would he not obey the officer?  Why would he hit the officer?  He obviously did not obey the law and that's what happens (basically).  The problem was really intelligent friends of mine that happen to be of another race spoke so plainly opposite to those thoughts -- I had to wonder.  Do I because of the color of my skin have no idea what it's like to be stopped by the police?  Do I not understand a dynamic that goes well beyond my perspective lenses of my life?  I do not know the answers to those questions - I do want the reader to contemplate those questions for a few minutes before jumping to your normal stance, not saying they are right or wrong just think IS THAT POSSIBLE? That as a white woman (all my life) I don't -no- can't truly understand?  Is it possible?  I do know that when we are free from our racial prejudices we will have people arguing about police force and criminal activity and what it means to make sure one is armed before shooting and not a "black" teenager and a "white" police officer. How do we get there? I think first we have to have that honest hard conversation, a conversation that I am not totally comfortable with myself.  I do know that King wanted us to peaceably love one another to fight prejudice with love not shootings and fires.


I was raised in the rural south, I was raised in a place where people of color were not allowed.  I was raised in a place in the 90's where there were still KKK meetings.  I went to school with only white kids for the most part, and racism was all around.  This is not something I am proud of just something that is a fact.  Thankfully, my home was not that way.  I was never taught anything but love for all of Gods children.  Nevertheless it was all around me.  You have to wonder how much of the talk, the whispers, the tasteless jokes seeps in?  When have I heard the slurs or racist jokes and turned a blind eye?  In that moment was I not at least an accomplice to the racism?  A grandmother used the word negro, much to my horror.  I often had deep and fierce arguments of how it was not polite or godly to use that term.  She  thought nothing of it - that's what "they" are called she would say with indignation.
When asked about racism today I would say "We have a black president!" There is no mountain one can't climb.  I often think how long ago did we have slaves?  I certainly didn't, my mother didn't, my grandparents nor their parents.  How long must we pay for the sins of our ancestors?  I think the answer is much like the cheating husband that asks the same, until it doesn't hurt anymore.
I find myself unsure of what I can say what I cannot. African American?  It seems so silly to me - I don't go around calling myself Irish American!  Although I know that is my ancestry I nor my people as far back as I can see, remember, or be told of came directly from Ireland!  The word "black" let's look at that for a minute. First thought is what's the problem? I'm "white" your "black?" Yet what do we say about black things? "Black sheep of the family" good guy wears the white hat...etc.. maybe I haven't taken all of this into consideration maybe WE haven't really thought of our brothers and sisters.  I heard Oprah one time say "people of color"... I love that! Makes sense to me! I am white - so blank but my brothers and sisters of color are so rich and beautiful from the light bronze to the deep hues of brown and gold, people of "color!"  Then I heard someone say "don't say that" as if it was the N word?  So now I am not sure.   Even so with my love and consideration I find that I fear often of saying the wrong thing.  I don't know, and I don't know if every white person feels this way, but I certainly do -unsure always - as if I am walking on shells trying to make sure no misconceptions? I am often unsure and afraid of saying the wrong thing.  Then again how can I cry when my brothers and sisters are afraid too, but they are afraid they will say the wrong thing and be shot they may find themselves somewhere and lose a life because of the prejudices of others?

I think we have come a long way my children often relate who someone is to me by he's a little

darker than me, or yeah he's brown.  I have even had them not know what race someone is they are just Jesse or Elijah, Jill or Madison.  King would surely be proud they they are not judging by the color of skin.

I think we must be sensitive and know that our walk may not have had the stones and sharp objects in the way that others have had.  We must know that until we have walked a mile in another man's/woman's shoes, we cannot say what they feel or what we would do.  We must also learn to stop crying wolf over every situation that has people of different hues of skin and give us a chance to move on. I pray that I listen more, that I love more, that I honor the path I do not truly understand.

Am I a Racist?  No, I don't believe I am, but I know I also have a lot to learn.  We all have a lot to learn, and I want to do better and live in a world that sees color for how diverse and beautiful it is, and nothing more.

May God Bless you and Keep you All the Days of your Life and May We all Enjoy the Diversity Created by our most Awesome God.

 

I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality... I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.

-MLK

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